You're Not Overwhelmed. You're Alone In It.
I'm going to tell you something that took me longer than it should have to admit.
I run a business built on carrying other people's mental load. I'm the person business owners call when they can't hold it all anymore. I take the invisible stuff - the chasing, the tracking, the remembering, the coordinating - and I lift it out of their heads so they can actually think again.
And for a long time, I didn't notice that no one was doing that for me.
My own marketing sat unfinished. My own admin got squeezed into the gaps. My blog - the one I kept meaning to write, with a list of ideas I genuinely love - went untouched for months. Not because I didn't care. Not because I wasn't capable. But because by the time I'd finished holding everything for everyone else, there was nothing left for my own stuff.
That's the mental load ceiling. And if you're reading this, I'd bet you've hit it too.
It's Not About Volume
We talk about overwhelm like it's a capacity problem. Too much on. Too many tasks. Too full a diary. And yes, sometimes that's true.
But the mental load ceiling is different. It's not just about how much you're doing. It's about the invisible layer underneath it all - the layer that never switches off.
It's the knowing. Knowing what still needs to happen. Knowing who hasn't replied. Knowing that thing you said you'd sort "later" is quietly becoming urgent. Knowing which client needs a gentle nudge this week, which invoice is overdue, which conversation you've been putting off.
It's the holding. Holding the context for every project, every person, every moving part - in your head, because there's nowhere else reliable to put it.
And then add in the family layer. The school emails. The appointments. The packed lunches and the after-school clubs and the completely unpredictable week your child just had. The way your own health can quietly shift the ground beneath you and you just... keep going, because who else is going to?
That's not overwhelm. That's being the only one who knows how everything works.
Why "Getting Organised" Doesn't Fix It
The advice usually goes: get a better system. Use a planner. Block your time. Do a brain dump.
And I'm not saying those things don't help. They do.
But none of them fix the fundamental thing, which is this: you're still the only one carrying it.
A cleaner to-do list is still your to-do list. A prettier Notion board is still something only you look at. A time-blocked calendar is still a calendar you built alone, for yourself, that you then have to maintain, adjust, and remember to follow.
Organisation tools reduce friction. They don't reduce isolation.
What actually shifts the weight isn't a system. It's a person. Someone else who holds the context with you. Someone who remembers so you don't have to. Someone who notices the thing you nearly missed and catches it before it becomes a problem.
What It Feels Like When You're Not Alone In It
I see it in the moments after a call with a client.
There's often this exhale. Not dramatic - just quiet. A physical releasing of something they'd been holding so tightly they'd stopped noticing it was tense.
It happens when someone says I've got this, you don't need to keep it in your head. When the chasing is handled. When the follow-up gets done without them having to remember to ask. When they open their week and the invisible scaffolding is already there.
That's not admin support. That's cognitive relief.
And as women running businesses - with everything else we hold outside of work - that relief is not a luxury. It's the difference between running your business and being slowly consumed by it.
The Irony Isn't Lost On Me
I'm like the hairdresser with the bad haircut.
I know this is the problem. I literally named it in a session last week. And I still haven't sorted my own.
That's the thing about the mental load ceiling - understanding it doesn't automatically lift it. I help founders get breathing room every single week, and my own marketing is still the thing that gets squeezed into the gaps, done last, when there's nothing left.
I'm not telling you this because I've figured it out. I'm telling you because I think you need to hear that even the person whose job this is finds it hard to hold herself with the same care she holds her clients.
You're not failing. You're just alone in it.
If any of this landed - if you found yourself exhaling a little while reading it - I'd love to have a conversation. Not a salesy one. Just a real one about what you're holding, and whether there's a way to hold some of it together.
You don't have to keep being the only one who knows how everything works.
Sadie Finch runs More Than Admin - operational and strategic support for small business founders who are capable, busy, and ready to stop doing it all alone.
